The last day of alcoholism

Tis’ the last day of drinking (at least for a month)… Went out to Pacific Beach to game, but before that I was working numbers like crazy trying to get fuck to go down.

For some reason, I’ve been a bit horny lately and just want to bang. I probably have about 15 new numbers I’m working simultaneously that I’ve gotten in the past few days. I’m doing this new thing where I add the date of when I met them in front of their name. It’s pretty awesome because in my iPhone, it puts them all at the bottom of my contact list, in order.

Anyways, this 30-year old milf that I’ve been sexting the past couple weeks says she’s gonna be at a bar with her girlfriend in Old Town and suggest I come by. I tell her to send a picture of her friend, she’s fucking hideous. I drag a friend along and don’t show him the picture. Going into this, I knew the logistics we’re there and just wanted to show face. Get her a little more comfortable with me as I have not yet had a day 2 with her.

We meet up, she’s acting all shy and shit with me, reminds me of a little girl. Probably because she’s already seen my dick and she’s sent me a vag pic and we’ve already agreed that we’re gonna fuck via text and we haven’t even met up yet. Shits kind boring, but I just hangout and have a couple beers and a taco.

My friend and I dip and head out to PB. This is a huge issue of mine:

I have solid fucking game. Girls love me, I’m centered, I can hold a conversation, I make laugh, provide a full range of emotions, escalate when needed, but I don’t approach enough.

I have gotten a lot of same night lays by only approaching anywhere form 1 to 10 girls a night. I’ve banged about 12 in a 2-3 week period (4 of which took no effort on my part whatsoever LOL), but imagine if I approached consistently throughout the night.

From my experience and reflective thoughts, there are different forms of approach anxiety, including, but not limited to: social pressure, apathy, laziness, fear of not knowing what to say, etc.

My particular issues stem from: 1) being naturally antisocial, 2) social pressure of being seen blowout/coming off as a fucking creeper, 3) laziness of having to hold a conversation, and 4) sometimes scared because I don’t know what to say/thinking what I have not to say is not good enough.

These are the primary issues, I also notice that my body chemistry will start to interfere as well, I’ll feel drowsy, my stomach will hurt, eyes puffy/watery, etc.

All of this is resistance. The only way to get past the approach anxiety and changes in biochemistry is by taking action, getting blown out, and having fun with yourself and staying light hearted.

You need to be hyperaware of the fact that everything going on inside of you will dissipate as you transition into a more extroverted, expressive version of you.

How is this done? Following the process. Become extremely present to the moment, talk to people, get interested, get excited, have fun, and laugh. Don’t be scared to speak your mind, to blowout of set, and to express yourself freely.

Another issue in the past, for myself, was I would start the process, sets wouldn’t hook and I would give up on the process. I would stop the process just shy of the transition from my introverted-self, to my extroverted, fun-self.

Last night was a good example (with the help of alcohol) that I made that transition. BTW, I’ve noticed that no mater what conscious altering substance I take, I will always have to make that transition. Some help ease the transition, but not mater what it will have to be made. “No mater where you are; there you are.”

Had a few drinks, but wasn’t tipsy. I remember walking around Typhoons, seeing my two buddies approaching, and having full resistance. I don’t know what to say. That’s a big group, I don’t want to deal with her friends. Bunch of gay shit going through my head. I was being lazy.

Even not knowing what to say is being lazy, IMO. It’s like that excuse a child would give their parents when they didn’t want to do a chore and their excuse is, “I don’t know how.” I used to do that all the time a child. I just really didn’t want to do it.

I talked to a couple sets eventually and wasn’t really feeling it. Full resistance and negativity.

I go outside for a smoke. There’s a girl to my right that has an amazing ass and nice curves in a green dress. She’s talking to a friend that’s not that cute and seems pretty drunk.

I feel a huge urge to talk to the girl in the green. She’s got long beautiful brown hair and extremely soft-looking skin. I resist. I recognize this, but the urge to talk to her was over powering. I have a self dialog: You know you’re going to talk to her. You’ve been there before when you really wanted to talk to a girl and you walk away. The feeling is stupid. Just talk to her now. No better time. 

I tap her on the should. Super centered and extremely present. Direct eye contact as always. “Hello, I’m Andrew.” Set opens nicely, we chat; her drunk friend’s attention directly on me. We talk for a bit everything’s good, but eventually they leave to go friend their other friends.

All good, plenty of time in the night. I know at this point that I need to continue to open to keep the momentum going. I’m in a better mood, I was talking with excitement, and I go approach more.

I’m extremely present. Staying in set consistently and having a lot of fun. I remember talking to some girl about cuming all over her back, pulling out, fucking, etc. Just no filter. A different girl, later n the night, was getting extremely horny because I was describing exactly how she likes getting fucked and telling me how she wants to have a threesome with another girl. I actually have another girl that wants to have a threesome as well and we exchange numbers to set something up.

I roam around a bit more, still hitting shit up. Having a shit ton of fun and already full transistioned from to full expression mode. Everything is hitting and I’m super money.

My friend’s and I hit it up until the bitter end. Literally opening every set in McDonalds and sticking until pull doesn’t go down. Then opening the next until the last finally leaves.

Reopened the hotty from the smoking section about 4 more times that night. Last time was in McDonalds and apparently some dude she knew was already talking to her – his friend started getting physical, shoving and threatening to fight me. I just left it alone.

Did not pull, grabbed about 4 numbers. Main focus was the transition from introverted to extroverted and that was extremely successful. Will be the main focus over the next couple of weeks. We shall see how it goes tonight without the assistance of alcohol.

Cheers!

 

Tomorrow it all starts…

Going back to the basics. I actually need to start developing and honing in on the skill set rather than just going out and letting it slowly and naturally progress.

I have had a pretty good amount of success, but I haven’t really developed the specific skills needed. The min goals are going to be as follows: developing wit and the waffle (being able to talk and talk), pulling, and f-closing.

I have always had pretty bad approach anxiety and its being handled. I’ve been having a lot of success with alcohol, but its been pretty sloppy and not to controlled.

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This 30-day is to get back on the sober horse and actually develop specific areas of focus. First will be the waffle and wit, I won’t focus on pulling, just if I notice it’s on, I’ll go for it. Primarily will be focusing on approaching and talking forever and ever.

I’ll be out tonight, actually trying to work on multiple day 2s, so hopefully something comes through, but the party starts tomorrow!