Very interesting. Tyler just put out a new video, in my home town, about the reason it’s necessary to approach a lot (tada – my biggest sticking point).
One of the main reasons why, he explains, is the funnel effect. Approach a lot > most girls will be social, easy going, > some will engage and become attracted > few will get sexually arroused > less will have the logistics in your favor (which is what you look for to have a SNL & something my roommate is really good at looking for).
It goes even further down the funnel, in which, you will find girls that will be willing to have sex with you > and of those you have sex with, girls that you’ll want to keep around and actually have some sort of relationship with. And of those girls you like, depending on if you want this (which happens to be what I want), you’ll find some that like other girls. Possibly even go out and pickup girls with you.
The later is what I’ve noticed tremendously. And it has a direct relationship with me not approaching as much as I should: I don’t find very many girls that I actually want to keep around. Sure, I’ll find girls that I want to keep around to have sex with, but I don’t find very many girls that I actually want to hang out with.
But while you’re out, the mind frame that you need to be coming from is that of: “I’m just being social.” This stems innocence. You are not doing anything wrong; you’re just out to have a good time and meeting new people. People in the venue can notice this. Boyfriends won’t get all butt-hurt, girls won’t get all pissy, etc. Unless of course, their just really drunk and fucking idiots; which you’re definitely going to encounter; obviously, don’t take it personal.
And in all honesty, that’s all you need to do. Go around and be social. You don’t need to use different techniques, like getting extremely physical, talking mad shit to girls, or going for instant make-outs. That’s how you come off as a creep, get forced into a creeper’s mindset, and start becoming terrified to approach or even go out.
*side note: you can get away with instant make-outs, getting real physical, or talking shit if you’re congruent with it – if you’re actually doing it to have fun and not using it as a technique to ‘get the girl.’*
Just go out and chat with people. While you’re chatting, stay super centered, present to the moment, and have fun. That’s all that’s needed. Don’t judge yourself negatively; everything you say is awesome. “There’s no reason you’re not enough” (Alexander). If someone’s an idiot, brush it off, and don’t take it personally.
Anyways, heres the video I’m referring to: