Slow, but steady…. & Pretty fucking Tired

OK, so last night. Hit up Stingaree in downtown San Diego. Apparently Method Man and Red Man were performing. Normally, we’d get in free, but it was pretty tight. Paid the dude off $40 for 3 total, normal cover was $30 for that night I guess.

Whatever. We roll inside and decide to get stamped before anything. We go to get stamped, but faggot at the door is making us fucking leave and walk around to the entrance. Douche-fucking-bag.

Since we’re out, we decide to hit up another bar. Having had a spectacular night the night before, I learned that it is EXTREMELY FUCKING IMPORTANT TO HIT SHIT UP IF YOU HAVE THE SLIGHTEST DESIRE TO HIT IT UP.

****Now what the fuck does this mean? It means that if you have an inkling of a desire to talk to a girl, you need to talk to her. NO FUCKING EXCUSES. AT ALL. PERIOD. If you don’t, it will be a decline in your flow state – one step back. If you do, it will blast you forward – 10 fold. Key to success right there. Even if you get blown out or you’re nervous/nothing to say. Doesn’t matter. If she’s with her boyfriend, she’s too hot, etc. Just do it. You  will thank yourself.

Also, if you’re out with wings, it’s important to take action before you see them taking action. You see them go. You go. You don’t see them go. You go. The reason this is important is because you need to give yourself permission. You need to take charge of yourself. Don’t let your wings give you permission in the environment; give yourself the permission. It’s empowering and it tells your mind that you are the one that makes the decisions and dictates your reality. It keeps you out of spectator mode, which is hard to get out of once you’re in.

So as we’re crossing the street, I see a cute group of 4 girls. I point at one and make a comment. She hears half of it and asks me to repeat the other half. We chat for a little. I’m still a little uncalibrated (tonality, verbals, body language), but she’s still intrigued. She stays, waiting on the corner talking to me until her friend says, “this isn’t a stop light, what are you waiting for? We can go.” This snaps her out of it and they walk on.

We get into this little hole in the wall bar called Tivoli’s. We hit the patio. My roommate and friend start hitting a couple sets up. I wanted to smoke a cigarette, so I chill back and smoke while they do their thing. Not good, since I’m out, I should be hitting shit up. Really need to quit smoking. I’m making a bad habit of smoking when I’m out and I’ve been actually buying packs lately. Next on the to do list.

As I’m sitting there smoking, I’m putting myself into spectator mode watching my two friends talking and taking action. Not good. I don’t hit anything up in that bar.

We head back to Sting. Friends had to go to the bathroom, so I waited by the dance floor. There were a couple of sets I could have hit up, but I didn’t. I did, however, hit up a girl that walked by. Only one. I head up to the rooftop a few minutes later and start hitting shit up more avidly.

I run into my roommate and he’s already in super state because he hits shit up pretty hard. He tells me to give him the craziest opener I could think of and point a girl out and that he’s so money that it won’t even matter. So I give him the line, “I shoved a huge, black dildo up my ass earlier,” and point out a little cutie in a blue dress.

He walks over and the look on the girl’s face is priceless. Straight freaked out. LOL. Her friend has kind of a freaked out / wants to laugh because its so weird look on her face. The scuttle away from him, but he reopens, probably saying that he was just joking and (pointing at me) saying that I told him to.

I took this as a chance to open myself and tell them he was just joking and both the girls start laughing. I chat up for a bit and apparently there’s a big bday party. I get introduced to all the friends and basically become part of the party. The dudes in the group like me, etc. I chat for a bit to pump my state and excuse myself when it starts getting a little boring.

Hit shit up a bit more until a bikini fashion show started. I got a little distracted for a bit.

 

********!@*#!*@#*!@#  I have to get back to work right now, my lunch break is almost over. I will finish writing this a bit later. (I work 40 hours + a week. Still hit it up until 3-4 am in the morning. Actually had a meeting at 8:30am this morning, hit it up until 3:30am last night.@#$@#$!!*********

 

OK, back – trying to recall what happened next. I’m gonna lay out only the important aspects. I’m pretty sure after the fashion show, we hit up a couple more sets on the rooftop and then decide to go downstairs. Downstairs we talk to a couple more sets and then leave the club.

We run into a friend in the street and he says that he has a two set in this small, but pretty nice, bar called Bollywood. My two friends go to the two girls. I stand there for second and remind myself that it would probably be good to get in set instead of just hovering. There was a girl sitting by herself near the front of the bar that I saw on the way in.

Looking over she was still there and I debate whether or not to go in. Now I mention earlier that if you have any inkling of desire to approach: DO IT.

I have a couple thoughts: She might be here with someone, the bar is so empty, what if I immediately get blown out, etc. I immediately cut the thought patterns off and reframe it: Lets just see what happens and start walking over.

I open with. *tap on the shoulder* and, “Hey. Hello, I’m Andrew.” We chat for a good 30-45 minutes. She ditched her friends that went to a super ghetto, basement bar calls C Lounge and she was hanging out alone, sobering up before driving home. She had perfect logistics.

I seed for the pull. I try to get things sexual. When I mentioned sex as being a good release. She agreed and gave indicators of wanting to fuck, but for some reason, I froze up a bit and let silence reign. I broke it shortly after, changing the subject. So fucking gay. I guess it’s getting used to flowing with that stuff without the numbness of being intoxicated. Just another part of going sober.

I go for the pull because I don’t want to hang out there any longer. She’s not down. Probably because I couldn’t handle the sexual tension. Fuck it. Grab her number and bounce.

This interaction and because of the right action I took, boosted my state. I feel amazing and meet up with the wings again. We hit shit up some more and I call it a night around 3am.

Multiple times throughout the night I overcame the AA and fed off the desire of approaching a set. Even HB9s & 10s. Main girls I want to focus on. Always cutting off the negative thought patterns and replacing them with: Let’s see what happens!

Successful, but slow night. Being fully rested definitely helps.

Very slow beginning

Slow beginning tonight. Didn’t transition very well tonight. Was pretty much expected as it was the first night of gaming completely sober. Goal of the night was to not drink at all. This was successful. Felt pretty introverted and unsocial.

Started the night at the loft with the regular homies. My roommate was pretty drunk when I initially got home LOL. We got into a bit of a heated debate about how why I wanted to improve myself and go sober for the next 30-days. He asked my why I want to try to better my game because I was already super money. My response was because I want to bang hot girls on a regular basis.

Now granted, I don’t get laid as much as him because he has a lot lower standards as him. I had to prove to him that at lot of the girls he bangs are not as hot as I want. Multiple girls with chub and slightly unattractive occasionally.

We started the night off about 11pm at Sidebar. Was pretty fucking dead upon entering. Did not approach at all from what I can remember. Just kinda stood around a little anxious while my friends started approaching. After a couple of sets that don’t really go anywhere for them, we decide to bounce to another place.

Headed to a bar that was doing karaoke that was pretty lame. Super dead and shitty singers. Decide to hit up the next bar: Whiskey Girl.

Right outside the bar, my boy opens a set. I immediately follow. Interaction goes well, I’m pretty excited about what I have to say and self-amused. Girl wasn’t that attractive, but just wanted to get myself into a more talkative mood.

Girls are heading to another bar, after a bit of convo, we decide to let them head off on their own. We get in the bar and the first set my friends open is a three set of semi-attractive girls. Their jumping and hollering. I don’t join in and stand about around them. I value scan like a little bitch and don’t find anything to open. *Well I do, but I just make a few excuses not to.

Finally see a girl alone and decide to open. We chat for a bit, doesn’t go anywhere and convo dies off. I dance a little and let her wander off.

***LESSON: EVEN IF I DON’T FIND THE GIRL ATTRACTIVE, PUSH THE INTERACTION LONGER. JUST FOR THE REFERENCE EXPERIENCE.

After that I still kind of choded out and made a bunch of excuses no to make approaches. Headed back to Sidebar. Immediately went to the smoking patio and hit up three girls with my two friends.Opened pretty nicely and then I just went pretty blank. Stopped talking and just kind of chilled back. One of my friends was running good game as he had probably already talked to at least 10-15 girls. Other friend comes in and pretty much gets ignored completely and calls them gold digging whores.

This kind of causes the girls to blow us out and they head back inside. I chode around for literally the next hour or so. Don’t really talk to any more girls until on of my boys drags me over to wing him. My girl was pretty sexy and I tell her I’m originally am from San Diego. She’s from Turkey and tells me how lucky I am.

I joke around and tell her that I was born on the beach, but don’t worry they laid out a towel. Continue a little humorous conversation and then it just kind of dies and we realize its pull-thirty.

We roam a bit and my two boys hit up a two set. I walk around and see a girl I should have approached that was alone, but don’t. I make a full circle around the bar and see her again. I decide to open. We chat, she tells me her name and where she’s from. This rings a bell. I tell her that I think I met her. And show her a phone number in my phone. It’s hers, we laugh and then dance for a bit.

I take her out to the patio and we chat for a bit. She super sober and her state wasn’t pumped by my awesomeness (which is what happened last time and is why she probably didn’t remember me). I tell her to hang out and I send her a text so she has my number.

She goes on her way. I head back in the club and I feel that I’m starting to transition. I open more sets. Things are pretty awesome. I tell girls that I went to the Zoo yesterday and tried to steal a flamingo. Also tell them about how my friend, earlier that night, tried to steal a cardboard cut out of the most interesting man in the world from Wiskey Girl – to no avail (TRUE STORY).

After the streets die out. We call it a night. Two of my friends pull a couple ugly Mexicans, but I head upstair to write up this field report. And now it’s time for bed. 🙂

****NEED TO IMPROVE ON:

STARTING EARLIER. TALK TO MORE SETS NO MATTER IF W/FRIENDS OR GUYS. ***EXPAND ON CONVERSATION. AS IN, DON’T ONLY TALK ABOUT LOGICAL BULLSHIT (EVEN THOUGH THIS CAN AND HAS WORKED IN THE PAST). TALK ABOUT RANDOM, MADEUP BULLSHIT. I DID NOT GO TO THE ZOO AND TRY TO STEAL A FLAMINGO. AND I WAS DEFINITELY NOT BORN ON THE BEACH. JUST HAVE FUN AND FREE.

Peace out and good night!

 

 

The last day of alcoholism

Tis’ the last day of drinking (at least for a month)… Went out to Pacific Beach to game, but before that I was working numbers like crazy trying to get fuck to go down.

For some reason, I’ve been a bit horny lately and just want to bang. I probably have about 15 new numbers I’m working simultaneously that I’ve gotten in the past few days. I’m doing this new thing where I add the date of when I met them in front of their name. It’s pretty awesome because in my iPhone, it puts them all at the bottom of my contact list, in order.

Anyways, this 30-year old milf that I’ve been sexting the past couple weeks says she’s gonna be at a bar with her girlfriend in Old Town and suggest I come by. I tell her to send a picture of her friend, she’s fucking hideous. I drag a friend along and don’t show him the picture. Going into this, I knew the logistics we’re there and just wanted to show face. Get her a little more comfortable with me as I have not yet had a day 2 with her.

We meet up, she’s acting all shy and shit with me, reminds me of a little girl. Probably because she’s already seen my dick and she’s sent me a vag pic and we’ve already agreed that we’re gonna fuck via text and we haven’t even met up yet. Shits kind boring, but I just hangout and have a couple beers and a taco.

My friend and I dip and head out to PB. This is a huge issue of mine:

I have solid fucking game. Girls love me, I’m centered, I can hold a conversation, I make laugh, provide a full range of emotions, escalate when needed, but I don’t approach enough.

I have gotten a lot of same night lays by only approaching anywhere form 1 to 10 girls a night. I’ve banged about 12 in a 2-3 week period (4 of which took no effort on my part whatsoever LOL), but imagine if I approached consistently throughout the night.

From my experience and reflective thoughts, there are different forms of approach anxiety, including, but not limited to: social pressure, apathy, laziness, fear of not knowing what to say, etc.

My particular issues stem from: 1) being naturally antisocial, 2) social pressure of being seen blowout/coming off as a fucking creeper, 3) laziness of having to hold a conversation, and 4) sometimes scared because I don’t know what to say/thinking what I have not to say is not good enough.

These are the primary issues, I also notice that my body chemistry will start to interfere as well, I’ll feel drowsy, my stomach will hurt, eyes puffy/watery, etc.

All of this is resistance. The only way to get past the approach anxiety and changes in biochemistry is by taking action, getting blown out, and having fun with yourself and staying light hearted.

You need to be hyperaware of the fact that everything going on inside of you will dissipate as you transition into a more extroverted, expressive version of you.

How is this done? Following the process. Become extremely present to the moment, talk to people, get interested, get excited, have fun, and laugh. Don’t be scared to speak your mind, to blowout of set, and to express yourself freely.

Another issue in the past, for myself, was I would start the process, sets wouldn’t hook and I would give up on the process. I would stop the process just shy of the transition from my introverted-self, to my extroverted, fun-self.

Last night was a good example (with the help of alcohol) that I made that transition. BTW, I’ve noticed that no mater what conscious altering substance I take, I will always have to make that transition. Some help ease the transition, but not mater what it will have to be made. “No mater where you are; there you are.”

Had a few drinks, but wasn’t tipsy. I remember walking around Typhoons, seeing my two buddies approaching, and having full resistance. I don’t know what to say. That’s a big group, I don’t want to deal with her friends. Bunch of gay shit going through my head. I was being lazy.

Even not knowing what to say is being lazy, IMO. It’s like that excuse a child would give their parents when they didn’t want to do a chore and their excuse is, “I don’t know how.” I used to do that all the time a child. I just really didn’t want to do it.

I talked to a couple sets eventually and wasn’t really feeling it. Full resistance and negativity.

I go outside for a smoke. There’s a girl to my right that has an amazing ass and nice curves in a green dress. She’s talking to a friend that’s not that cute and seems pretty drunk.

I feel a huge urge to talk to the girl in the green. She’s got long beautiful brown hair and extremely soft-looking skin. I resist. I recognize this, but the urge to talk to her was over powering. I have a self dialog: You know you’re going to talk to her. You’ve been there before when you really wanted to talk to a girl and you walk away. The feeling is stupid. Just talk to her now. No better time. 

I tap her on the should. Super centered and extremely present. Direct eye contact as always. “Hello, I’m Andrew.” Set opens nicely, we chat; her drunk friend’s attention directly on me. We talk for a bit everything’s good, but eventually they leave to go friend their other friends.

All good, plenty of time in the night. I know at this point that I need to continue to open to keep the momentum going. I’m in a better mood, I was talking with excitement, and I go approach more.

I’m extremely present. Staying in set consistently and having a lot of fun. I remember talking to some girl about cuming all over her back, pulling out, fucking, etc. Just no filter. A different girl, later n the night, was getting extremely horny because I was describing exactly how she likes getting fucked and telling me how she wants to have a threesome with another girl. I actually have another girl that wants to have a threesome as well and we exchange numbers to set something up.

I roam around a bit more, still hitting shit up. Having a shit ton of fun and already full transistioned from to full expression mode. Everything is hitting and I’m super money.

My friend’s and I hit it up until the bitter end. Literally opening every set in McDonalds and sticking until pull doesn’t go down. Then opening the next until the last finally leaves.

Reopened the hotty from the smoking section about 4 more times that night. Last time was in McDonalds and apparently some dude she knew was already talking to her – his friend started getting physical, shoving and threatening to fight me. I just left it alone.

Did not pull, grabbed about 4 numbers. Main focus was the transition from introverted to extroverted and that was extremely successful. Will be the main focus over the next couple of weeks. We shall see how it goes tonight without the assistance of alcohol.

Cheers!

 

Tomorrow it all starts…

Going back to the basics. I actually need to start developing and honing in on the skill set rather than just going out and letting it slowly and naturally progress.

I have had a pretty good amount of success, but I haven’t really developed the specific skills needed. The min goals are going to be as follows: developing wit and the waffle (being able to talk and talk), pulling, and f-closing.

I have always had pretty bad approach anxiety and its being handled. I’ve been having a lot of success with alcohol, but its been pretty sloppy and not to controlled.

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This 30-day is to get back on the sober horse and actually develop specific areas of focus. First will be the waffle and wit, I won’t focus on pulling, just if I notice it’s on, I’ll go for it. Primarily will be focusing on approaching and talking forever and ever.

I’ll be out tonight, actually trying to work on multiple day 2s, so hopefully something comes through, but the party starts tomorrow!